oppositions.

“anyone looking into my diary expecting to find a day-by-day account of rescuing children would be stunned. it is, rather, a narrative of defeats, disappointments, unbelievable betrayals, discouragements, frustrations, obstacles, criticisms and weariness. scattered among those are the few successes that have made it all worthwhile. it has definitely been panning for gold: much effort expended and tons of sand processed to gain a few precious flakes.”

john kachelmyer,romanian child activist

i couldn't have said it better myself. honestly, every day is filled with all those feelings at some time or another, but every day is also filled with moments that are like little kisses. reminders of the goodness that romania is. we started our third week of work this week, and i already am feeling the gold rush in.

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"opposition brings concord. out of discord comes the fairest harmony."

heraclitus of ephesus

today was a day of opposition for me. as in opposites.
i didn't really sleep last night. and am still sick. and was kind of weary just thinking about the day ahead of me. BUT. guess what? today was probably one of my best days yet there. if not the very best one. it was so good. so so good.
i went outside with my three lovely walking kiddies for the first time in a few days, met a new worker (new to me, not section 2. naturally.), and my kids were all on the trampoline. and when i went over to the tramp to see them, they all came over to the edge of it towards me (there's one of those netting/safety thingies around it. never fear.) and were excited to see me! well, excited in the way they get excited. it was completely darling.
the temperatures/humidity levels here do this weird thing where they suddenly seem to go up, but then stay at that steady heat. until they go up again. which has been happening this week. so my kids were in shorts and t-shirts! this is kind of an enormous deal. usually they have long pants, sometimes long-sleeve shirt. and a jacket when they go outside. and it's been pretty hot the whole time. yeah, they're like little ovens. anyway. it was so cute. and my girls were both wearing overalls. one of them had bright yellow ones, with a shirt with bright multi-colored dinosaurs underneath it. essentially, you should know it was the cutest sight in the world. at one point, i was pushing both of them on swings right next to each other, and the one in bright yellow overall shorts was singing to herself random tunes. and the other kept saying wee as she swung. and sometimes when they came towards me i'd tickle them, so they'd giggle like crazy. have i melted your heart yet? it was probably the cutest thing in the world. ok, so it completely was. believe you me. i experienced a few moments of heavenly bliss. complete, carefree, happy, summertime bliss. actually, the following quote describes it quite well. i'm on a roll with quotes tonight, i guess.

"there are moments that i know i will long for, even as i live them."

judith katzir

that's what kind of moments they were. there were times when i felt like i was already longing for it to return, and it hadn't left yet. and could picture myself thinking back to that moment often. which i already have many times today.

when we came back inside, i made the rounds to my bed and chair kiddies while the walkers were washing up and at masa (snacktime/lunch). all of which were in rather pleasant dispositions. and whilst i was singing to my back three, my walkers returned. and thus resumed the clapping, wheels on the bus, and popcorn popping. and other tunes.

and then for awhile, my boy went down to nap, so it was me and the girls. one in my lap, one standing behind me on the bed i was sitting on. and the worker in a nearby chair. she went through animals and what sounds they make with them. and then had them saying different words, like going through the names of all the kids in the room. it was adorable. and when they say my name, it's probably ten kinds of hilarious. em-eh-meh. eh-neh-neh. that's kind of what it sounds like. i'm thinking we'll try and stick with em. one girl has it down, the other is still working on it.

the lady working in my room today gave me a little cake thingy with strawberry in it that they sell here. it was delicious. and i didn't want to eat it right away while my girls were hanging on me. but they kept finding it, so finally she walked by and told me to eat it, and the girls to leave me. but they seriously looked hilarious as they watched me eat. they were watching in rapture. probably you had to be there. but i thought it was hilarious. they were being so funny today.

other cute thing: someone, somewhere (i think it's one of the workers) taught one of my girls to give massages. if you're sitting down, she'll come up and say 'massage?' and she'll massage your back and neck with her little hands. i can't even really explain it very well. but it's completely hilarious. whenever she says that i start laughing. and occasionally agree to her cute baby little fists pounding my back.

essentially, if you wanted to put the past many words and paragraphs into a smaller and simpler sentence, it would be this: i just kind of completely adore my kids and being here with them.

there's something magic about my kids. i'll feel sick before getting there and as i walk in. and then as i'm leaving the sick returns. whether it's being sick like right now, or just nauseous from some of the scents. but when i'm with them? i forget all of that and am completely and totally focused on them. i love that.

welp, the magic wore off as i was leaving, as it usually does. and when i'm sick, the results of this are more dramatic.

i fell asleep during lunch after writing in my journal and eating a sandwich. well, fell asleep as well as i could. kind of like last night. it was painstaking. anyway. and i even considered not going to the hospital again, but i essentially knew i needed to. and felt guilty missing 2 days in a row, when i knew i could do it, even if i was enormously tired.

at the beginning, i slightly regretted going. it seemed to be an average day there. and in the first room we were in, sweat was literally dripping off my face endlessly. you would think after a certain point you'd stop sweating? yeah. nope. it kept on dripping. i was quite a sight. of that i'm sure. crazy, greasy, sweaty hair. sweat dripping down my face. the usual lack of makeup which would do no good in this place anyway. yeah. cute picture to imagine, i know. point was, i was super hot. and not feeling so hot. and as great as the hospital smells, i might have been near throwing up a few times.

but then amanda and i went up to the next floor. and on one wing met a little boy, that might have changed my life. and might have made me want to cry. he's seven. and was quite distant, not really wanting much to do with us. but after awhile he moved from being in the hall back to his room, and was willing to let us stay with him. and didn't want to do anything we offered. and after a few minutes was suddenly crying. his mom had left him there that day. we're obviously not entirely sure of the whole story, thanks to our limited romanian. but we definitely caught the basics. and while we're not entirely sure of the complete verity of everything he said, it was still enormously sad. i'm not going to give details here. i feel like that's too much. but he was the sweetest boy. and handsome. but he just kept crying. so we rubbed his back, and tried to hug him. and tried to distract him. i can't think of another day that i've said te iubesc or te iubim more than i did today. and after spending over an hour with him, and making sure he actually wanted us there, he kept saying nu plecați! nu plecați! (don't leave!) and we promised we'd come back to him tomorrow. part of me hopes he's there tomorrow so we can see him. but another part of me wishes more that he won't be there, and that there's a happy ending to his story. not the sad one i fear.

(the clouds and sunset last night were spectacular. as can be seen. pictures definitely don't do justice, though.)

tonight i bought more apple juice. and had some shaorma. and gelato! lemon and chocolate. it's probably unfair to the universe how cheap things are for us here thanks to the super great exchange rate. i'm thoroughly glad they aren't using euros here yet. for the sake of all of our bank accounts.

obviously today was not all good. nor was it all bad. but it was just right. more than just right. it was excellent. it's the harder things that make the good ones all the more sweet. and today? today was a very sweet day.

"if we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant;

if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."

anne bradstreet

simple and extraordinary.

the simple things

are also the most extraordinary things,

and only the wise can see them.

paulo coelho

popcoh. pop.

i woke up at 8:20 this morning to the sound of rosly poo leaving, as usual.
and then had a solid day at section 2 with my kids!
one of my boys finally smiled and was happy! this is a very big deal. he usually is in his chair and mostly always partially crying, or something of the sort, or just sitting rather somberly. but he was out on the mattress in the middle of the floor, and was doing some major wiggling with his feet. he loved it. i think that's the key with him. he loves movement.
i took one of my other boys out of his chair today when he started crying and held him for awhile. which he thoroughly enjoyed. as did my other boy that i picked up and danced around with for awhile. mostly, they just all love to be held. it's cute. but tiring. but adorable.
i went back to have my daily time with my kids in the back room, tickle them and sing for awhile. and while there, my other kids came back from outside. my one girl who is usually a stinker was in an excellent mood. and i think she finally recognizes me! she called me em when i asked her who i was. (easier than saying emily. naturally.) and she came up to me and clapped her hands to the tune of a tune i sing when she's clapping mine, as in wanting to hold my hands and clap them as i sang the entire thing. and then both she and one of my other girls, at different points today, started singing a part of 'popcorn popping' to me, so that i would sing the whole thing with them. it was super cute.
near the end a couple of them got quite naughty. which often happens. buuut, nothing too dramatic.
during our lunch break i fell asleep, and since i'm still kind of sick i decided to not go to the hospital for today. the orphanage was long and interesting as it was with my limited energy. but i still loved it.
while i was at section 2 this morning, i realized how much i really do miss my kids over the weekends when i don't get to see them. and i get excited in the mornings when i get to go to them. especially when it's been awhile. sometimes even day to day. like right now, i'm excited for tomorrow. as long as they are happy campers. hopefully none of them are naughty. but i do love that i finally feel like i'm really slightly making headway and really feeling comfortable there and with each of my kids. like i'm past the initial, slightly awkward getting used to each other stage. with my workers too. it's nice.

anyway.so this afternoon i took a nice long nap. like, a real nap. none of this half-nap business that i usually have when i take a nap here. and when i woke up, i moved from the chair i was sitting in (yes i took a nap in a chair. our other sleeping locations were taken with roslyn and amanda sleeping before they left for the hospital.) into the living room and read jane eyre for awhile. I FINISHED IT! this is kind of a really big deal. mostly because i started reading it over a year ago, but with school and everything it's only been off and on that i've read it. but i finally finished. and loved it. so cute. it's been a long time coming. so now i want to see the movie. add it to the list of things to do when i'm in america again. ha.
tonight being monday meant that we had fhe at the branch! and it was highly successful. there were a bunch of investigators there! ha. i sound like a missionary. but it really was super neat. so we played card games and chatted. and then here i am. i think i'm going to go to bed soon. a little pathetic, i know. it's fine. i'm 20. i do what i want.
hahaha. juuust kidding. but i really might go to bed soon. judge me all you want.
i'm like an old lady. it's only 10 and i'm already pooping out. and probably could have gone to bed earlier.
it's fine. don't even worry about it.

p.s. it's almost june. say whaaa? when did that happen? speaking of. i have some write-ups to do. for culture stuff, and for this week there's a special write-up? oh goody.
we've almost been here a month. and after this week, i feel like time is going to fly even faster. especially with our mid-semester retreat coming up, a faculty visit? maybe? haaa. and transfers are next week for the missionaries. super sad. we'll miss them, if they're transferred out. and then at the beginning of july there'll be a new mission pres! not that that will effect us in any way. but it's still exciting. and then soon after all of that, it will be time to say goodbye. not ok. i refuse to think about it. for now, i'll keep enjoying every last sweat-dripping-down-my-face-and-back second. and while i'm at it, i'll enjoy my shaorma too. mmmm.

ani. de ani. big deal.

guess what?

today i turned 20. well, technically i won't be 20 until 3:34am tomorrow morning romania time.

aka, 6:34pm in utah.

but let's pretend anyway, ok?

and with numbers greater than 20, you add a 'de' to whatever it is.

so now instead of being nouăsprezece ani, i'm douăzeci de ani.

it's a pretty big deal. obviously.

today i missed my family a lot more than i planned on. especially this morning when i was sick, and just wishing i could be home and spoiled by family and be at our traditional birthday family dinners. but, my group is super great, and this ended up being an excellent day. even more than expected.

i woke up at 7am again, which is weird.

went to church.

almost fell asleep a few times.

came home. read our conference talk for this week.

read jane eyre.

fell asleep. and woke up as we were almost leaving for scala 1 for dinner.

had a delicious dinner of stir fry.

ate a delicious chocolate cake homemade with love.

had our sunday meeting.

and bring on the skype dates.

done and done.

 making my cake! hilarious, to say the least.

 homemade. frosting and cake. delish.

happy birthday to me!

ha ha.

foreign birthday? check!

ya'll come in and set a spell.

yesterday was saturday. (obviously.) so it was a nice little break from our normal day's work.
i was going to sleep in. i woke up at 7am instead. my family is probably laughing right now. but yep, this is still me. i don't understand it either. i woke up sick as well (boo!) but what is there to do? not much. in the late morning the roomies and me took a little trip to g market and the piața. (open market. you should probably know that by now.) they were buying fruit at the market. i bought flowers. obviously that's a completely rational thing to do. i'm in love with the sellers at the market. especially the flower ones. they're so nice. and practically shoving flowers in your face for you to smell them. and the other lady buying flowers from the same person as me was giving me advice about them. it was sweet. so i ended up with the most beautiful peonies and chrysanthemums you ever did see. in my opinion, anyways. see here.
and then at g market we bought water, as usual. we go through so much it's not even funny. not being able to drink tap water is a pain in the rear. but we're still alive. so it's a fair trade off, i suppose. and i bought some chocolate and apple juice. first of all, i haven't bought chocolate in a few days now, which is a big deal. romania is making bank on the chocolate sales to our group. ha. and i bought apple juice! which i seriously drink like it's my day job. i'm addicted. essentially, the juices here are the bomb dot com. suc de mere. mmmm. love.
then we went to the english classes that the missionaries teach. which was slightly helpful in learning a bit of romanian. and made me glad i don't have to learn english. and then it was roam romania time! oh the adventures we have. member how i woke up sick? that made the roaming less fun than it could have been. but i still enjoyed it. mostly because i'm starting to see how all the streets eventually connect to one another. it's neat. but not as neat as utah's block system. i've been missing those blocked streets. and naturally this adventure resulted in a million more pictures. naturally.

the rules of wandering.

1. if you want to stop, stop.

2. exception: unless it's in the middle of the road.

3. always have your camera ready.

4. always take the road less traveled.

5. exception: unless that road is a creepy alley filled with killers.

6. look up!

7. exception: make sure you don't trip and break your foot on the broken apart sidewalks and roads.

the metropolitan. aka, the biggest romanian orthodox church in romania. right in our front yard. relatively speaking, that is.

 looks greek, yeah?

halfway house? haaaa. or something.

 university of medicine.

mihai was practicing his gangsta face.

 i wanted a picture of the graffiti that said a beautiful mess. and these men thought i was psychoooo.

that's all i'll say about that. ha. hahahahahaa. see photo. ha.

 view of romania from the top floor/restaurant in hotel unirea. no, we didn't eat there. just showed up for the view of iași.

welp. seeing as my birthday is today, last night we went as a group to little texas! it's a restaurant/hotel that's owned by an american. aka, the only american restaurant here. and one of the most american places to be found in these parts. american food. well, texas food. texas is partially america. ha. and the menu was in english. and the waiter spoke english! and romanian, obviously. and he like to chuckle at us. and we were there for 3 hours. no big. haaaa. fun was had by all. it was hilarious. and my chicken enchiladas were just right. as was the brownie. i really want to go back and try the twice baked potatoes. i love twice baked potatoes. and some other things as well. the menu was literally 10 pages long. or more. it was a bit much. sooo we'll probably go back someday anyway. perfect. ha.
also, i apologize in advance that i look like a goon in all photos. i'm not really sure what the deal is. don't judge me, lizzie. don't you dare judge me.

 cute, i know.

i wasn't kidding when i said we laughed a lot. ha.

mandaroo and me shared nachos.

my chicken enchiladas. mmmm.

brownie!

welcome, friends.

texas and romania. weirdest, cheesiest mix ever? you betcha.

hope and happiness

Hope...is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Infinite Power of Hope

yes i bought myself flowers at the open market for my birthday.

i don't think my group understands my obsession with fresh flowers. their loss.

love.

shaking fingers and theft prevention.

member that one time we went to a movie in romania?

member that one time the 3d glasses were super cool?

member that one time an usher shook his finger at us after taking a picture?

member that one time we walked through special detectors on our way out of the theater to make sure we weren't stealing the glasses?

i sure do.

thanks for letting me steal the photo, mandaroo.

for me, it's a pirates life.

yesterday i got to go outside for most of the time with some of my kids at section 2. including one that usually stays inside. so it was thoroughly enjoyable. and then got to know a few of them better than before and made good headway in that regard.
i fell asleep during lunch, and decided to take my day off at the hospital yesterday. it was nice. i took a nap. i did laundry. and i watched a movie. it's called 'adam.' i feel like not everyone would like it, but i really did. and the soundtrack was incredible. and it was nice to have a break.
then came institute, which was grand, as usual. followed by a trip to kaufland. and early bed.
we're old and tired all the time.
also, i really like just walking the streets here. mostly, i really like just being here in general.

today i stayed inside while the walkers were outside. and made my way through each of the kids in their bed or chair or wherever they were confined to at the time. and i had another one of those 'this is so sad, and their lives are so unfair' moments. mostly while i was singing/humming to one of my girls who just kept crying the saddest cry you've ever heard. which is mostly because she's usually so content and happy. i think she just has a cold and was feeling miserable. but obviously i'll never really know. the fact that they don't really have much of any communication is sad too. naturally there's body language and eyes, but neither of those are the same as being able to use words. such is the life they live. anyway, that's all i'll say about that. but we shared some tender moments, she and i.
after writing in my journal during lunch, i was off to the hospital. which was nice and average today. full of people looking at us like we're insane, people speaking a mile a minute to us in romanian and expecting us to understand, full of sweat, and full of the most adorable kids you'll ever see. including a two-week old baby. yeah.
and on the way home, i took pictures of a few charming places in that area. i want to spend more time walking the streets by the hospital sometime, though. someday.

my water bottle = life.

 the view off the balcony.

 a view from the top of the hospital.

the hospital itself.

 goes. everywhere. haa.

 the shoes my mama claimed looked worse than what my kids would be wearing.

there may be some truth to that. but they've treated me well.

ready to jump on a plane to romania yet? i know. me too. oh wait. i'm already here. just my luck. excellent.

tonight we went to iulius mall for din din and a movie. we went to pirates of the caribbean 4, in 3d. oh, hey. in case you were wondering, movie theaters are taken very seriously in romania. you'd think it was broadway. or something. the workers were in bowties. the seats are assigned. the 3d glasses are hard core bulky things. all we were missing was a sign saying, 'here come the americans!' oh wait. we didn't really need one. i think there was one plastered all over us already. haaaa.

also, movie in english with romanian subtitles - sad for the ones using subtitles. some things just can't be translated. ha. aye aye, cap'n. your highney.

also, i'm addicted to these wrap things they have here. and i couldn't bring myself to descending to american food yet (ie. kfc or mcdonalds). we'll take care of that tomorrow night. it's called shaorma lipie. and they're delicious. i'm not really sure exactly of everything that's in them. though, funnily enough with everything else, they have fries in them. and they put fries on their version of 'hamburgers' here. it's an interesting idea. but in the wraps it's quite scrumptious. it looks kind of like this:

which, ok. i'll give it to you. the picture looks kind of lame. but really, they're delicious. just take my word for it.

also, i got a mcflurry. it's not food, so i don't count it as descending to american too soon. best 8 lei ($2.77) i've ever spent. cheesy? yes. but delicious.

funny that i just gave an entire dedication to food? i know. it's a big deal, though. especially considering we don't exactly eat all that extravagantly here. ha.

moral of the story--operation: week two of working in romania? success! done and done.

am i excited for a weekend? you bet your bottom dollar.

speaking of dollars. the exchange rate right now is up to .35 lei to every dollar. which is really really good. exciting, i know. another reason you should be wishing you could hop on a plane on over here right now.

i might have missed something. i might have gone crazy with the pictures. that's life. i apologize if you're offended by that. it's been a rather average few days over here in romania town, and therefore i feel like there's not much to report. or, i just feel like the weird things that happen aren't that weird anymore because i'm so used to life being a little odd. yeah, it's probably the latter.